


Slide off the hill

by weishenist



Series: the swing [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Multi, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weishenist/pseuds/weishenist
Summary: “If I sailed over the abyss right now, would you miss me?”“I miss you and you’re standing right next to me”
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: the swing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868971
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue-ish

**Author's Note:**

> some ships will just be sides,this is mainly johndo centric  
> mentions of self harm,suicide,and depression will pop up so please don’t read if this will make you uncomfortable

Doyoung kept pushing me harder and harder on the swing. I laughed all the way over the gaping hole in the world. It made my heart stutter,but Doyoungs laugh put the air right back in my lungs,maybe his smile could heal the scars I covered...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I don't know how many other characters I'll be adding, I lowkey wanna make this one big crossover story but I have to figure out where who goes here and there. There will most likely be plenty of mentions and appearances so pray I remember the connections. If I add a major character I'll change the tags ;)


	2. Zombie Pop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna go home today  
> You don't really wanna just go  
> The blue skies are telling me to go that way  
> I think I might just fly away  
> And leave all my things behind  
> I think I might just leave the world  
> And go run into my mind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter name is actually a song I listened to while I wrote this chapter, it's by DPR Ian and it's kinda short but it's amazing it gives me really chill vibes I love it.

There was this swing right at the edge of the earth right. Well, not the edge of the earth but at the edge of a cliff with a pretty deadly drop. The swing itself was sturdy, made to withstand the harsh weather that frequented the spot. Maybe that’s why the area wasn’t a very popular spot. But Johnny loved the seclusion.  


He was younger when he first discovered the winding path to the swing. He had been fleeing from his home to escape from the screaming permeating the air, making it heavy with guilt and rage. He saw a blurry outline first due to his tears blinding his surroundings. He had fallen to the earth clutching his chest. He didn’t know why it hurt so much, could only guess it was because of the words his parents were saying.  


When he finally slowed his breathing he glanced up and his breath hitched again. The edge wasn’t very far from where he collapsed, his eyes trailing to the side noticing the swing. He had gotten up and tentatively examined it before trusting its frame and sitting. He sat on the swing for a while, gently pushing himself back and forth, ridding him of his thoughts. His heart stopped every time he pushed a little harder, his body hovering over the abyss then slowly swinging back to safety.  


When he finally bothered to check the time on his phone, hours had passed. Noticing the messages from both parents he decided to call his dad, the less threatening of the two. When his dad picked up he cut off whatever words he was going to say to tell him he was safe, with a friend they trusted. His dad, sensing something wrong in his child’s voice, asked him to come back home. Johnny stayed silent before saying bye and hanging up, turning his phone off, then began to swing gently before he slowed to a stop and stood to leave.  


When he turned, his scream echoed over the hills. Clutching his chest again to try and slow his rapid heart, he called to the boy sitting steps back, near the scrubs.  


“What are you doing here?”  


The boy opened his mouth to speak before closing it and making a shh indication at him. Johnny strained to hear but caught nothing. He cocked his head at the stranger contemplating if he should just leave and let him be. The boy must have sensed his caution because he stood up and beckoned Johnny to follow him. Johnny was young and a little interested so he followed. When Johnny stopped after him, the boy pointed to a path that looked like it would lead to the swing but ending with a harsh thicket of trees and weeds. Johnny glanced at the boy who was still staring intensely down the path.  


Following his line of sight, Johnny looked into the trees, then he noticed multiple bodies were hiding, seemingly holding things. Johnny looked at the boy and raised a questioning brow (he had barely learned to do it and it was already one of his favorite facial expressions). The boy walked backward quietly beckoning to follow him. When they came back to their original spot on the cliff the boy sat and began to speak.  


“My name is Doyoung, I’ve been hiding from the boys there for an hour.” Johnny thought the boy,Doyoung, had a nice voice. Soft and silky. “They don’t know about this spot?” Doyoung gave a swift shake to his head. “I’ve been coming here a long time, you’re the only other person I’ve seen here.” Johnny grinned at the thought of finding something so pretty. “My name is Johnny, I’m sorry if I come back but I think this is a good place to hide too, you might have to share.” Doyoungs eyes were wide but he gave a dazzling smile that made the back of Johnny's neck heat up,” I don’t care if I have to share, as long as we can be friends while we’re here.” Johnny smiled back at the boy, giving him a nod. The boy smiled brighter before his smile dropped and his eyes dilated.  


“Doyoung we know you’re here, we just want to play with you,” laughter echoed after the voice. Johnny, tense, noticed Doyoung wringing his hands in his lap and his shoulders stiff. Johnny offered his hand to help him up. Doyoung looked at his hand before slipping his own into Johnny's palm. Johnny couldn’t help but notice the warmth of the other and how his hands were much smaller than his own.  


”My house isn’t very far from here, if you know a different path I can take you there and I can help you go home.” Doyoungs eyes were blown wide again, his lip pulled in between his teeth, clearly contemplating the offer. His face fell slightly before he opened his mouth, but was cut off by the patent sounds of a tree releasing a weight.  


His eyes dilated even more before he released a shaky sigh. He nodded up at the tall boy before leading him towards his original position.


	3. These nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I keep calling you who doesn't answer,but only an echo comes back
> 
> I hate living while having lost you but  
> someday it will fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that gave me motivation to write this was... These Nights by Chungha and Rich Brian. The song is incredible and I listened to it for days when I first heard it. The lyrics I posted though are from Kyungsoo's Tell Me What Is Love, that song is one of my all time favorite songs, so if you want listen to it while reading this, it will probably make a lot more sense than these nights, though these nights lyrics fit it more, TMWIL just has good vibes with the actual sound...

Doyoung led Johnny through a long winding path that was way more energy consuming than the path Johnny had taken. When they got to the bottom, Johnny had to stop Doyoung so he could catch his breath. Although his legs were longer, the other was a fast walker with some good stamina. When Johnny finally looked up he noticed Doyoung was staring at him with glossed over eyes.  


Johnny straightened and motioned for Doyoung to come closer. Doyoung tentatively stepped towards him, not expecting a jacket to land across his shoulders. He gave Johnny a questioning look, prompted by the other he said: “it gets pretty cold when it’s dark, you need it more than I do.” He had noticed the others' lack of layers at the swing but didn’t feel the need to bring it up. Johnny started walking forward with Doyoung tailing him.  


Then Doyoung grabbed onto Johnny's arm, intertwining them. Johnny felt heat rush up his arm and to his neck. His ears were ringing so when he looked at Doyoungs moving lips he sported a confused look with a “huh?” leaving his mouth.  


“Are you sure I can go to your house? Your parents might get mad.”  


Johnny mulled this over before pulling his phone out again. Doyoung gasped at the device before blurting out “you have a phone?! I’ve only seen the fat ones without touch screen!!”  


Doyoung blushed as his hand came to slap across his mouth.  


Johnny awkwardly laughed as he rubbed his neck, “I got it on my birthday when my mom realized I like running away.” Doyoung giggled, a sound Johnny thought sounded like music that could echo everywhere. “I don’t have a lot of money, that’s why I’ve never seen them...''  


Doyoung trailed off with a longing in his eyes Johnny didn’t think was for his phone. Johnny quickly unlocked it and dialed his dads' number.  
The phone rang for a few long seconds then he heard his father's voice on the other line, “hello?”  


“Hey dad I’m coming home now, but is it ok if I bring someone?”  


Johnny heard some shuffling on the other side before a response  


“Is it Jaehyun?”  


“Uhm...no, but he’s still my friend”  


Johnny chanced a look at Doyoung and noticed his wide, quivering eyes. Johnny raised his brow at him but couldn’t comment before his dad spoke again.  
“Please be safe coming home, we don’t know who’s there. Make sure your friend is safe too.”  


Johnny replied a quick thanks before hanging up.  


“Are you ok?”  


Doyoung opened his mouth before closing it and just nodding a simple yes with a small smile.  


Johnny really liked his smile, he didn’t know why but he found the boy endearing and he hardly knew him! Johnny heard about his friends feeling weird in their stomachs when they were around girls they thought were cute.  


Johnny was pretty sure he had that feeling right then, and that Doyoung was doing that to him. But Johnny liked girls, he’s sure of it. He heard boys liking boys was unnatural: but why did it feel right with Doyoung?  


Maybe it was just the cold messing with his mind…  


Johnny shook his head to clear his mind, focusing back on Doyoung. The shorter was staring at him with his big eyes  


Johnny looked into his eyes before blurting out, “it looks like you have stars in your eyes.”  


Johnny immediately flushed a deep red while Doyoung let out an embarrassed giggle. Doyoung rubbed his ears at their points and stared at Johnny head-on,  


“I stole them all when I was little”  


Doyoungs playful smile made his eyes sparkle more and Johnny laughed at his response: intertwining their arms again and pulling him in the general direction of his block.  


“Maybe that's why it's so dark all the time,” Johnny played along, a teasing note in his voice.  


“That's why I need a protector, so no one steals them back, and you're tall enough, right?”  


Johnny let a smile fall on his face before looking at Doyoung, who was smiling with his teeth and gums on full display. Johnnys' heart skipped a beat but he managed to reply,  


“You're just too small, like a little rabbit.”  


Doyoung let out a loud laugh, the dim street lights reflecting off his eyes made them sparkle more, and Johnny swore he could hear even the crickets silence so all the creatures surrounding them could hear the music-like sound that filled the air with warmth and joy.  


They fell into a comfortable pace, little conversations here and there about anything and everything. Johnny didn’t want their trek to end.  


He liked being wrapped up with doyoung, liked hearing him laugh at whatever he said, even if the boy made him forget what it was. But Johnny knew that feeling was wrong, he shouldn’t like anything about this boy like that, like the way his parents felt for each other. His friends and family had all said something about it being unnatural for boys to like boys, and girls to like girls like parents did.  


Johnny only knew one person who didn’t care that it was unnatural, his neighbor Kun, who was a year younger than him. He told Johnny he had a crush on a boy before. Johnny didn’t change how he saw him though, he was still the same person, just he liked someone that was a boy.  


The more Johnny thought about it the more he found that it didn’t sound weird at all to him: so why did his parents make such a big deal out of it?  
He pulled himself from his thoughts, mulling his internal conversation before asking Doyoung the question that was eating him up.  


“Doyoung, do you think boys liking boys is weird?’  


Doyoung immediately responded with a no, so strong and absolute that it was clear there would be no changing his mind.  


“Why?”  


Johnny really wanted this strange boy's opinion because he seemed to know something.  


“Well my friend likes my other friend, and they’re both boys. But nothing is weird at all, he just likes him like how adults love each other. I like them both though so I don’t care what people think about them.”  


Johnny took this in without answering, letting his thoughts run wild.  


“Do you know how that boy knew he liked your friend?’  


Johnny looked at Doyoung who had his lip pulled between his teeth again.  
“I think he just remembered always wanting to be around and make him laugh. They don’t do anything like adults do because we’re too little, and I secretly think my friend doesn’t know that he likes him. He and I talk way more so he doesn’t play with him a lot.”  


Doyoungs voice got a little quieter as he continued to speak. Dying out as he finished, unintentionally making them slow down.  


Johnny gently tugged his arm with his intertwined one, making Doyoung look into his eyes. They looked glassy, and not the sparkly glassy but the glassy that can shatter with tears.  


Johnny moved his hair out of his face so he could see his eyes better.  


“What's wrong?”  


Doyoung blinked hard at the words, making the glassy film over his eyes disappear.  


“My friend doesn’t like me.” Johnny stared at him, waiting, before replying. “He likes your friend though right?”  


Doyoung lowered his gaze, “the boy that likes my friend was my friend, one of my best friends, but he hates me now. He hates me so much, and I think he thinks I'm taking my friend away from him.”  


The glassy film was back and Johnny stopped walking so he could give his full attention to the boy.  
He pulled him to the ground, right under a streetlamp, putting his legs over Doyoungs outstretched ones, effectively trapping him across his gaze. They were close to each other, only about a foot of space between their chests.  


“You can tell me, the stars in your eyes would burn out if you cried, and then it would get dark."  


Doyoung made a noise between a snort and sniffle and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of Johnny's coat.  


“My friend thinks I ruined something really important to him, his treasure. I didn't but he thinks I'm lying. He said he hates me now because I couldn't fix it. The boy he likes knows I didn't do it but he won't listen to him either.”  


Johnny nodded along to his words before opening his mouth, “nothing could fix it?”  


Doyoung shook his head,” the pictures stuck red from whatever spilled on it, and it's the only one in the whole world.”  


Doyoungs hands were in his lap again, being wrung mercilessly. Johnny could see the fingers turning white where he strained so hard then deep red blooming across his knuckles. He reached out and grabbed his hands, holding them in both of his.  


“You’ll rip your hands off”  


Doyoung just looked at him, before lowering his gaze again. “I want things to go back to how they were, but he hates me so much.”  
Johnny gently pulled one of Doyoungs fingers, making the other look at him  


“I can be your friend instead, right?”  


Doyoung let a small smile creep on his face, before pulling Johnny forward with his hands where he was still holding them, and hugged him real tight.  
Johnny felt a flush on his cheeks and the back of his neck rise to the surface of his skin.  


“Please don’t hate me when I’m your friend”  


The proximity of Doyoungs voice and his arms around Johnny made him hyper-aware of his heartbeat, and how his arm felt wrapped around Doyoungs slender neck was a little overwhelming: but he still squeaked out a reply.  


“I could never hurt the lights in the sky.’  


Doyoung pulled away first, with a wider smile on his face and thanked Johnny for just being there. Doyoungs smile made him feel fuzzy so Johnny just got up and pulled Doyoung to his feet in response. He led him to the last street to his house before he said,  


“If you ever need me, tell me, the stars can never be worn out. Especially by pretty tears.”


End file.
